So, let me go look…last blog was April 24th and The Baby sat at 90,863 words. I just checked and that was three and a bit chapters ago. It now sits at 106,291 words. Where are we? You’re going to kill me. We’re at the end of week 18. Yes, the week I told you about five-thousand years ago. I reworked out the dates and week 16 became week 17, then back to week 16, again.

So, in the end, at the five-week mark of writing, I was at 103,519 words. Very much short of the 122,000+ words I managed when writing The Wedding. I just…rewrote The Album and was creatively blocked for a solid week. I sat down and outlined the rest of The Baby last week, so I know exactly what needs to happen. I also feel like since that five-week mark has passed, I’m finding it easier to write again.

What else did I do? Oh, yeah, I wrote the first chapter of Sebastian’s Baby and then I also rewrote the first chapter of Gabriel’s Album to first-person POV. I also wrote a one-shot to go at the back of The Album as a sneak peek for Gabriel’s Album of him writing The First Song. If you want to read it, it’s here (contains mild spoilers for The Album!). I really like it, because we get to see where Gabriel was at when he started writing Heart Wide Open.

So, here’s another thing…there are secret Cruise Control writings, as well. I have two one-shots that will probably never see the light of day. One is 3,734 words long, and the other is 4,576 words long. What are these? They’re to do with my secret favourite ship…Heather and Sebastian. Good lord, do I ship them hard. While, at the same time, completely and utterly acknowledging that they will never be canon. Sad author is sad.

So, I literally write my own fanfic of my characters.

Heather has just always loved Harrison and would never betray him. Meanwhile, Sebastian loves Harrison as much as he loves Heather, and he’d never go there, either. So, they just make stupid flirty jokes that don’t mean anything. When I was writing The Wedding, I wrote the first one-shot because I needed to get it out of my head, so that none of that sexual tension in my head made it into the book.

I wrote the second one on the weekend, not for the same reason, because there’s actually a lot less sexual tension between them in The Baby now that Lita’s on the scene and we’re in her head instead of Heather’s (so don’t see most of their jokey texts with one another). I just wrote it…because I felt like it. I have no regrets. Though, I suppose that was 4,576 words I could’ve written on The Baby, instead lol!

Now, my editor thinks that I should tone down Heather and Sebastian’s friendship in The Wedding, but when I read it in canon it’s really not there between them. They would never actually have sex. That’s the joke. Sebastian sleeps with all the women…but not Heather.

She also thinks that I should make Harrison be jealous of Heather’s friendship with Sebastian, so it’s a source of tension between them. But he’s not jealous. Because Seb is loyal and wouldn’t do that. Because he trusts Heather and he doesn’t need to be some kind of jerky “alpha” male who is threatened by his partner having a friendship with another man.

But yeah, I’m just out here with two one-shots of them being together. It’s terrible and awful and I feel bad for Harrison and Lita that those even exist! When I read the actual books, Harrison is perfect for Heather; and Lita and Sebastian are just so damn adorable together that I want to die. Those pairings are perfect for canon. For them as characters within the Cruise Control world. There is no scenario within that world where Heather and Sebastian would be together, it just wouldn’t happen.

That doesn’t mean that I don’t still ship them in an alternate universe where…I don’t know, Harrison doesn’t exist, I guess? I literally sent a newsletter the other week where I inadvertently wrote “Heather and Sebastian” instead of “Heather and Harrison”. A Freudian Slip if ever I came across one!

So, there’s my secret confession. I write my own fanfic. Because that’s how I roll. Because having a goal of writing 8 books in the Cruise Control world in two years apparently isn’t enough writing for me. I need to not only spend time in their universe, but also in alternate timelines of theirs where different pairings are an option.

Oh, this blog got way off track. I wasn’t meant to admit all that. In fact, I’ve re-read it and dithered on whether or not to include it over and over again. I figured that I’ll take a page out of Lita’s playbook and just be honest AF with you guys. My point was that The Baby is back on track, but now I’m paranoid that it’s too long.

I think that I’ve been paranoid about this for some time, now. I read something today that said if a book is 110,000+ words, it’s “too long”…check that off for both The Wedding and The Baby. I feel secure with The Wedding, it’s effing amazing. I felt that while I was writing it and everyone who’s read it has loved it. With The Baby, it just…it has none of the drama or tension. It’s funny and enjoyable and sweet and wonderful but there’s zero drama.

Who the fuck am I writing this book series for, guys? I can’t pick an audience. All the book writing groups and information says “write to market”. Hit those damn tropes and you will be successful. Shit, I’m doing it all wrong. The Album was, basically, sweet. The Wedding was drama central. The Baby is basically a romantic comedy. The Stalker is…I don’t know, probably going to end up being a romantic suspense/mystery or something.

The only common theme here is the characters. The stories are all wildly different, the heroines are all wildly different. I like to think that each different heroine has her own tone and voice. We’ll see. I hope people like them. I can’t wait for The Wedding to be released to the masses. It really is my favourite book and I can’t wait for people to read it and (hopefully!) enjoy it.

Anyway, I’m basically just writing a blog instead of a book, right now. I should be adding to The Baby instead of rambling about how long my books are and about my secret OTP (One True Pairing) in my book series.

Rest assured, Heather and Harrison are the real OTP. Lita and Sebastian are the real OTP. That other one is just in my head and where it flows into the book, it’s nowhere near what happens in my headcanon. It’s funny, when I was writing The Wedding, I said to a friend that I was worried I was opening myself up to people shipping Heather and Sebastian…yet, here I am being the first damn one to suggest it! I suck!

When you all read The Baby, you’ll hopefully see why it can only ever be my headcanon, if you haven’t already come to that conclusion by the time you’ve read about Heather and Harrison in The Wedding. Those two have an epic love that slays me.

See? Here I am rambling even more. I need an editor to edit my blogs. I should be cutting something here “for pacing”. I’m going to sign off now!

Love your guts if you’re reading this, and I hope you have a wonderful day. 😘